My new resume's mission statement

I'm just putting this out there for all to see. It's not like anybody's reading anyway, so it's pretty much my own personal space.

The thing is, I haven't had the best career ever. I started in a supermarket, then went to work on a farm, came back to the city and studied, had casual work, then did an "apprenticeship" (I put the quotes around that because the only thing it had in common with what I'd think an apprenticeship should be was that it was called one).

Following that, I was then unemployed for a long time, and have since spent about the last decade working in warehousing.

And through it all, there's been this one universal truth; those in charge are selfish. It seems to be the case so much in these parts, it's like it's damn-near law. If you're the sort that likes to reward those under you that are deserving, get the fuck out!

The last boss I had that was worth writing home about was in the aforementioned supermarket. If I recall correctly, that was back in 1993. He was the manager of a Coles Supermarket where I worked, and management fired him because he didn't fit the bill. That is, he was hands-on, approacheable, and wasn't a kiss-arse.

Fuck me, I wish I could remember his name. He'd make my Facebook friends list in a heartbeat.

For the longest time now, I've given up trying to find another boss like that, but I think it's time to tread the water again. There must be more out there somewhere, I've just gotta find the bastards. Talk about a needle in a haystack; for my benefit, they could at least post a sign or something.

So with that said, I'm doing away with the traditional resume-writing style, you know, where you just write the professional motivational crap that they want to hear, and I think I'm going to start sending out my resumes and application letters telling it how it is.

That said, I present the first draft of my new resume's Mission Statement:

To work with and for people I can respect. Where teamwork and cooperation are actually practiced and are experienced first-hand, rather than just talked about or pretended upon. Where 'leading by example' isn't just something that's googled to find out what it means, and where those that set the rules sport enough integrity to realise how important is it that they too, must follow those rules. Where the quality of the work being done by an individual is more important than that individual's appearance, where expecting employees to work like adults means not treating them like children, and where friends are made because people get on well and not because of the promise or possibility of preferential treatment.

The vast majority will have turned away by now, but if your workplace actually satisfies the above conditions, I'd love to hear from you, because like me, you're one in a million!